I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
