Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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