I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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