im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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