I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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