u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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