what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
