his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
