if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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