your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
