What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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