remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My feet surprised me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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