saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
