dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
