When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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