i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All the doctor said was why
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
