There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
