I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
