I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
