Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
