Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wanna passion pit in your ass
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
