Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
