Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
