erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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