There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
