Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
