hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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