yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
