She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I love having hate sex.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
