dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
