Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
