What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
