What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize