In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize