the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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