You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize