Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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