ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
