Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize