I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
