so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
even my farts smell like vagina
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
