I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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