I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
