he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
