You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
