yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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