I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize