I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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