I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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