just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
