party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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