I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
