No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
