you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
