What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
