I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
